


Kristen Fucking Bell

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Smallville RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-27
Updated: 2006-06-27
Packaged: 2018-09-03 04:23:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8696482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Wherein Jensen gets drunk and challenges Kristen Bell to a bout of drunken karaoke.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

**Kristen Fucking Bell (JA/JP, KB) PG-13/R**

  
 

**Title:** Kristen Fucking Bell  
 **Author:** [ ](http://keepaofthecheez.livejournal.com/profile)[**keepaofthecheez**](http://keepaofthecheez.livejournal.com/)  
 **Characters:** Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Kristen Bell  
 **Rating:** R – language only.  
 **Word Count:** 1, 424  
 **Disclaimer:** These people don’t belong to me, they belong to their mommies and daddies.  
 **Summary:** Wherein Jensen gets drunk and challenges Kristen Bell to a bout of drunken karaoke.  
 **Notes:** Dedicated to [ ](http://lex-83.livejournal.com/profile)[**lex_83**](http://lex-83.livejournal.com/) who basically said “Jensen Ackles! Kristen Bell! Karaoke!”  
Written for the **Drunken Karaoke** trigger at [ ](http://community.livejournal.com/60_minute_fics/profile)[](http://community.livejournal.com/60_minute_fics/)**60_minute_fics**.  
  
  
  
  
“She doesn’t look that tough to me.”  
  
Jared quirked a brow, leaning into Jensen’s side as they studied the petite blonde standing across the room, deep in conversation with Kristin and Allison. Jared lifted a bottle of Bud to his lips and laughed. “I dunno, Jen…I heard she took Mike _down_ the other night.”  
  
Jensen squinted, wishing he’d remembered to bring along a vial of saline because the smoke in the bar was seriously fucking with his contacts. “Mike’s only good in his mind,” he slurred, tossing back the shot Jared passed him. “I could take her.”  
  
Jared snorted, and his hand ghosted down Jensen’s back. The caress was so fleeting that no one around would have noticed unless they’d been specifically watching for it, but Jensen’s skin tingled and burned and he resisted the urge to shiver.  
  
“Sure, baby,” Jared murmured, amusement evident in the husky timbre of his voice, and Jensen turned to regard him through narrowed eyes.  
  
“Don’t believe me?” he asked, feigning injury. He sniffed, slid the shot glass across the counter and moved to take a step across the room. And nearly stumbled into a table a foot away.  
  
A hand fisted in his shirt, jerking him back just before he’d have made contact. “You’re drunk, Jensen,” Jared pointed out, laughing a bit as he reached out to steady Jensen’s shoulders. “I don’t think now’s the time to be proving anything, okay?”  
  
“He’s right,” Mike Rosenbaum piped up, popping up from behind Jared like a jack-in-the-box. Jensen blinked as the light bounced off of Mike’s bald head, and struggled to tune into whatever it was Rosenbaum was saying.  
  
“She’s all professional and shit,” Mike continued, making air quotations with his fingers. “Sang at the Emmy’s. There’s no beating that, gentlemen…not even if you’re as slick as me.”  
  
“Slick, eh?” Jared asked, cheeks dimpling. “Is that what you’re calling it these days?”  
  
“One day, sonny, you, too will find eternal glory.”  
  
“You know you make absolutely _no_ fucking sense half the time, right?” Jared returned, tilting his head and regarding Mike like a bug under a slide.  
  
“Hey, Mike,” Jensen broke in, still watching the blonde interact with the _Smallville_ girls. He motioned for Michael to come closer, and when he did Jensen wrapped an arm around his neck and said, “I gotta message for you to deliver…”  
  
Fifteen minutes and two beers later, Jensen found himself staring down into a pair of smirking blue eyes as the spotlight shone on him. He glanced over, caught Jared’s amused gaze, and his resolve strengthened. “So. Kristen Bell.”  
  
“So, Jensen Ackles” she echoed, cocking a hip and somehow managing to make him feel like _he_ was the one who was barely topping five-feet. “Karaoke, huh?”  
  
Jensen managed a smile. “I heard you’re something to see.”  
  
“As are you.” She paused, studying him curiously, and then, “You’re completely drunk, aren’t you?”  
  
“Am not,” Jensen scoffed, failing miserably at the offended expression he was going for. Again he glanced over at Jared, and saw his co-star laughing his ass off at something that guy from _Veronica Mars_ …Jason-something…had to say. _Ah, fuck it._ “Look, we gonna do this or not?”  
  
Kristen shrugged, waving a magnanimous hand in his direction, teeth flashing. “Your dollar.”  
  
“Ladies first. And I’ll pick the song,” Jensen added, smirk in place as he leaned back against the wall and crossed his legs. “That okay with you, Kristen?”  
  
“Whatever you say, Jensen.”  
  
He returned her smile, a hint of challenge darkening his gaze as he watched her flounce across the stage and reach for the microphone. Jensen cleared his throat and caught the attention of a nearby waitress. After slipping a twenty in her hand and whispering his choice into her ear, he sat back, satisfied.  
  
When the music started, Jensen couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. Several people in the bar glanced over, curious, then started to laugh as Kristen shot daggers in his direction.  
  
Jensen lifted his bottle of beer in a toast as the strains of “ _I Touch Myself_ ” began to blare out of the sound system. Two lines in, and the room was erupting into a chorus of cackles and whistles. A verse in, and Jensen was nearly crying in his beer.  
  
“You’re pretty evil,” a voice murmured in his ear, and he looked over to find Jared standing there, adorable grin in place as he shook his head. “Damn, Jen, I’m not sure this is what Dawn meant when she said ‘get to know your new network mates’.”  
  
Alcohol pleasantly bubbling through his system, Jensen shrugged a shoulder and shifted closer so that the scent of Jared’s aftershave filled his nostrils. He closed his eyes, images lingering in his mind of what he planned on doing to his co-star after he took Kristen Bell down a peg. “You smell,” he managed, voice thick and dreamy.  
  
Jared snorted. “Good, I hope.” His shoulder bumped Jensen’s, and then their fingers were touching, tangling briefly. Something darkened in Jared’s eyes, and he moved closer. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard when we get back to the hotel.”  
  
Jensen was abruptly glad for the shadows around them. “After I show Blondie a thing or two, hell yeah.”  
  
Jared sighed, warm breath coursing across Jensen’s neck. “You’re gonna make me jealous of a chick, Jensen.”  
  
Jen’s gaze snapped up, and he found Jared staring down at him with dark, unreadable eyes. After a moment, they both burst out laughing and Jensen slid a hand around to grip Jared’s ass through his jeans. “I really don’t think you have to worry.”  
  
“Mmm…” Jared shifted so that their hips pressed together, then cocked a brow. “But you might.”  
  
When Jensen frowned, Jared shot a pointed look over to the stage and Jensen looked over. And then his mouth fell open.  
  
Fucking Kristen Bell, Veronica Mars by another name, was not only singing the Divinyls’ classic, but she was bumping and grinding along with it in complete abandonment.  
  
When she did some kind of dance move that looked like it was out of _Bring it On_ , Jensen blinked. And realized he might be very well fucked. “Aw, fuck.”  
  
Jared’s hand clapped his shoulder. “It’s okay, Jen. Maybe I’ll let you top tonight.”  
  
Jensen ignored that, and the laughter coating Jared’s drawl. His eyes met Kristen’s as she belted out the final verse, and he couldn’t keep his lips from lifting in helpless admiration when she finished off with a sultry come-hither look cultivated especially for him.  
  
Except it was less come-hither, and more _Top that, asshole._  
  
As the bar exploded in raucous cheers, Jensen straightened and got a rush of blood to the head. “Fuck,” he grumbled, hand to his forehead as he cursed the decision to drink that last bottle of Heineken.  
  
“Jensen Ackles, you’re up!” Michael Rosenbaum’s cheerful voice bellowed, and Jensen looked over to see his former co-star grinning like a loon, obviously having denoted himself the ringleader of the event. “Fifty seconds, boy! Or else you forfeit!”  
  
Jensen loosened his neck, adjusted his collar, and glanced over at Jared. “Definitely topping,” he said, enjoying the look on Jared’s face before he made his way through the swarm of encouraging bar patrons toward the stage.  
  
As he passed Kristen, he gave her a small salute. “Not too shabby.”  
  
“Thanks,” she called out breezily. Then, “Hope you’re as talented as you are good-looking.”  
  
Ouch. The kitten had claws, indeed.  
  
Jensen stared after her in mild amusement, then turned toward Mike. Mike handed over the microphone, snickering beneath his breath at some joke Jensen wasn’t aware of. A really bad feeling began to bubble up inside of him, and then he heard it.  
  
Oh, hell.  
  
Over everyone else in the bar’s laughter, Jensen heard Jared’s. And the first person’s eyes he caught, were Kristen fucking Bell’s. She grinned, sending him the same smart-ass salute he’d offered her, and Jensen felt his cheeks go red.  
  
 _“I'm going out tonight - I'm feeling all right  
Gonna let it all hang out…”_  
  
Well, he’d walked right into this one, alcohol-induced or not.  
  
Jared grinned up at him, nodding his head along with Shania’s voice, and Jensen figured, _what the hell?_ His idea, he’d see it through, and then he’d go to the hotel and fuck the shit out of Jared Padalecki.  
  
Not a bad night all around.  
  
So he opened his mouth, gripped the mike, and sang out loud and proud—  
  
 _“The best thing about being a woman_  
Is the prerogative to have a little fun…”

  


End file.
